A frequently expressed concern by inexperienced campers is how to prepare a satisfying evening meal under stormy conditions.  I have found that adherence to the following steps invariably ensures that campers go to sleep sated and contented whatever the weather:

1) Return to the campsite before the storm breaks and check that all equipment is properly set up and adjusted to meet the coming onslaught.

2) Repair to the campsite bar (preferably with an excellent view of the approaching storm) in order to undertake detailed planning of the evening meal. Given the circumstances discussion should be restricted to simple but filling dishes such as pasta, rice, omelette etc.

3) As the lightening arcs across the sky and is answered by deafening claps of thunder, order campari spritzers in large glasses comprising:

– 1.5 parts campari 

– 1.5 parts dry white wine

– 1 part soda water

– ice + a slice of orange 

Ensure crisps and peanuts are provided. 

4) From memory review the ingredients available in the camp store cupboard. 

5) As the wind drives the rain against the bar windows precipitating an early dusk order a second round of campari spritzers.

6) Once the wind eases and the deluge thins to a light patter of rain drops pay the bar bill and return purposefully to your camp.

7) Whichever one of you seems the most competent cuts thick slices of bread and covers with chunks of butter hewn from a block directly out of the camping fridge (even the most detailed planning cannot be expected to cover every eventuality) and offers a choice of raspberry or strawberry jam (home made with fruit from the allotment of course – standards must be maintained even in the most trying of circumstances).

8) The first course to be washed down by cups of tea and followed up with slab chocolate. 

9) Campers to settle down to sleep with the sound of the wind gradually dying away confident that they will awake refreshed and ready for another day of challenging and fulfilling activities.